


you’re my best friend // tommyinnit & tubbo_

by trainofthoughts



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Everything Hurts, Gen, Happy Toby Smith | Tubbo, Happy TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Pain, Platonic Soulmates, Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, Toby Smith | Tubbo Misses TommyInnit, TommyInnit Misses Toby Smith | Tubbo, TommyInnit Swears (Video Blogging RPF), but then there’s so much pain, can’t imagine life without them, mapping out your entire future together while watching the sunrise, platonic friendship, so many memories, the world turns against you, tommy and tubbo need each other, you don’t want to push them away, you just want them back, you know that one friend you make who you immediately know is gonna be so so important to you?, you want things to go back to the way they used to be
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27669397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trainofthoughts/pseuds/trainofthoughts
Summary: "It's okay, Tubbo. You weren't to know." He closes the notebook and puts it on the ground, before sliding closer towards Tubbo and putting a hand on his shoulder in the same way Tubbo had done to him."I'm doing better now. And I'm glad that I met you."—DISCLAIMER: this is NOT a tubbo x tommy ship fic. this fic is, and will always remain, strictly platonic as they will not be flirting or behaving inappropriately with one another whatsoever. if either of them have an issue with this book existing then i am more than happy to take it down - please read the notes for more info :)
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 193





	1. promises

**Author's Note:**

> i am in no way shipping tommy and tubbo together. if you are seeking a tommy x tubbo fanfiction, then you need to re-evaluate your decisions and realise that these two boys are legally minors. even if they weren’t, it’s still very inappropriate to ship real-life people together unless they explicitly state that they are okay with it. which minors are unable to do. the intent of this book is to write about a fictional friendship between tommy and tubbo, so any relatives or friends of theirs in the book are entirely fictional and not real people.
> 
> i am more than happy to take down this book permanently if tommy or tubbo have issue with it. if either of them state they’re uncomfortable with platonic stories written about them, i’ll take it down. if they discover this story and request it to be deleted, i’ll take it down. i’m a minor myself and am in no way trying to make either of them feel uncomfortable or weirded out. for the record, i do not endorse shipping minors together or anyone who doesn’t state that they’re fine with it - please be respectful of content creators’ boundaries and don’t put them in a position which makes them feel uncomfortable !!
> 
> thank you for reading this, and i hope you enjoy the story :)  
> ~carys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tubbo seeks out the new kid who may be struggling to make friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you got a friend in me - randy newman
> 
> i chose this song because it's a nostalgic classic that portrays tubbo's intentions in the kind, gentle manner that he thinks and behaves in. tubbo wants to grow close with tommy and be his friend no matter what, and he has a sudden determination to befriend him that he hasn't experienced with anyone else.
> 
> at the beginning of each chapter i'll select a suitable song that you can listen to, hopefully to help the mood and atmosphere because my writing may lack it at points.

The illuminated screen of the monitor glares at him from the moment he opens the email. He slumps back in the tall black desk chair, one with several wears and tears from the many years he has had it in his possession; a Diet Coke can was held firmly in his left fist.

The text on the screen reads as follows: _Hi Tommy, I've received reports from a few of your subject teachers saying that you haven't been socialising much with your classmates. I just wanted to check in with you to discuss how you're coping this far into term, and if there's anything we can do to help. Mrs. Windsor._

Mrs. Windsor, Tommy's form tutor, is supposed to be responsible for the daily wellbeing of the 20-something kids in her registration group. The whole point of form in the first place is that everyone spends 15 minutes there every morning, socialising and getting their mark to say that they showed up to school that day.

Tommy's first day at this secondary school was a handful of weeks ago, and the experience of moving schools was not something his parents took lightly. Raised with a childhood of luxury and surrounded by a bunch of posh twats for classmates with far less humbleness than him, his parents decided it was time for a change. Tommy didn't have any true friends at that old school anyway; they were all developing into spoiled brats with superiority complexes, able to get anything they wanted with just a "Mummy, Daddy, please?"

Tommy was never like that though. Sure his parents work comfortable jobs and were able to provide him with many luxuries throughout his early years, but he never took it for granted. They made it their mission to keep him humble and not let his circumstances get to his head, and the mission was rather successful. But he guessed that they wanted to take it one step further, and push him further into a lifestyle of appreciating what he had and learning how to be on the down-low about it.

Since starting at this new school though, Tommy hadn't actually made any new friends. He was getting too old to be assigned a "friendship buddy" like the new kids got in primary school, so he was left to his own devices for the most part. As far as his classmates knew, they hadn't heard him ever speak a word in their presence.

Tommy isn't mute. He just doesn't like the idea of other people hearing what he sounds like, in case they judge or belittle him. Every new day at that school felt just as intimidating as the very first, even if the period of "settling in" was meant to be over by now. And that's why Mrs. Windsor sent him that email, to see if he had any anxiety issues or if he was just that crap at making friends.

The evening sun glistens over the hilltops in the distance from the window, shining golden rays into the bedroom. The beams light up the desk and computer setup, temporarily blinding the screen and blocking out the email. It's not like Tommy had any idea how to respond anyway.

In all truth, he doesn't want other people - especially adults - getting involved. He isn't experiencing social anxiety or anything that genuinely would prevent him from socialising even if he truly wants to. Tommy simply can't identify anybody who would be friends with him and not do it out of pity, and it appears as if everyone in his class had already selected their friendship groups from the years they spent together already. He has never felt more isolated, even in comparison to the old school.

Tommy throws his head into the backrest of the chair, before starting to gently spin around by digging his feet into the carpet and pushing them out. As he spins, a couple flashbacks from his first week come flooding back. The time when his Maths teacher attempted to make him introduce himself to the class, when instead he froze up and didn't say a word while staring at the floor in embarrassment. The time a group of girls, presumably popular and quite frankly feared among the others, approached him in Biology class and started cooing at him because he looks rather small for his age. And the time when a football approached his direction during lunchtime when he had been sat completely alone on a brick wall, and the boy who came to get it burned a stare into his eyes for a prolonged period of time before turning around and leaving.

Maybe that's why Tommy fears these people now. He fears their judgements and opinions. He fears the power they may possess, and what they have the potential to do if he screws up.

His last school taught him that he can't trust anyone, and he has a feeling this change in environment will only further prove that point.

The spinning of the chair comes to a gradual stop, then Tommy leans forward towards the computer when the sun had disappeared behind a cloud. Just as he goes to close off the browser window and open up something else, his attention is averted to the sight of a new email appearing in his inbox.

Strange, he thinks to himself. The only emails he has here are from his teachers. Tommy has no recollection of this email address, no matter how hard he tries to remember from the contact book of teachers' emails he was given.

Upon closer examination, he comes to the realisation that this isn't a teacher at all. It's in fact from somebody with the address TobyS382@schoolemail.com, and in the email is only six words:

_Hi Tommy, it's Toby from your class. ^-^_

Tommy stares at the message in a startled manner for a few moments, taken aback by such a forward approach. It takes him a few seconds to register in his head who exactly Toby is, but he soon realises that he's a boy in the class who also doesn't say very much. Toby has a small group of friends who he never parts from in school, but Tommy has never heard him volunteer to read out loud or answer a question.

He has sweeping brown hair often covering part of his eyes if he keeps it untamed, and he usually wears striped long-sleeves under the white uniform shirt. From memory Tommy could remember him being quite small in size but relatively shorter, and he dawns a mustard-yellow beanie as soon as the school day ends.

Tommy clicks the _reply_ button and sits at the desk rigidly, pondering what to respond with. He's still confused as to how Toby even got his school email address in the first place, but in some sense Tommy's rather relieved that somebody made the first move. Maybe this "no friends" thing wouldn't have to last forever after all.

_No no, it's too soon. You haven't even had a conversation with this dude before. He could turn out to be a total fake, a backstabber, somebody who just wants to exploit you and take advantage of your vulnerability._

He conjures up a response that, after copious amounts of deleting and rewording, he's finally happy with: _Hey Toby, I've seen you around a couple times before. Just out of curiosity though, how'd you get my school email?_

Surprisingly it only takes a few minutes before a reply appears; he must had been awaiting Tommy's email. _I saw you use it to log in during ICT. Sorry if I sound like a bit of a stalker, I just wanted to get in touch with you. Do you have Discord?_

Tommy sends an email with his Discord tag. He was becoming slightly paranoid that the school could be reading these messages through the system, but in Toby's defence all of Tommy's social media accounts were as private and anonymous as possible - so he couldn't have been able to find anything on his own. Tommy found it surprising that he asked for his Discord though out of all things - most kids his age would ask for an Instagram or Snapchat username.

Soon enough he hears the ping emit from the Discord application running in the background. He closes the browser and opens up Discord, and accepts the friend request from Tubbo#6663.

Toby is the first to send a message, as Tommy expects. But it feels heartwarmingly nice to be wanted for once, from someone that isn't a family member.

_Tubbo: Hi!! :D_

**TommyInnit: Hey dude I like your username**

  
_Tubbo: Aha thank you_

  
**TommyInnit: How did you come up with it?**

  
_Tubbo: It's just a nickname my friends call me, and I guess it just stuck_

  
**TommyInnit: Doesn't Tubbo mean fat or chubby though?**

  
_Tubbo: My friends didn't mean it like that_   
_Tubbo: It's just because Toby and Tubbo sound kinda close ig_

  
**TommyInnit: Fair enough**

  
_Tubbo: How about you, TommyInnit?_

  
**TommyInnit: I didn't have any friends to make this up for me, but I say innit a lot so it felt right**

  
_Tubbo: It's got a nice ring to it_

  
**TommyInnit: Maybe I'll change it one day though, sounds a bit cringe**

  
_Tubbo: Noooooo :(_   
_Tubbo: It actually sounds nice!_

  
**TommyInnit: Coming from Tubbo haha**

  
_Tubbo: Alright maybe Tubbo is a bit stupid_

**TommyInnit: Nah I'm just kidding, I like the sound of Tubbo too**

  
_Tubbo: Really?_

  
**TommyInnit: Yeah :)**   
**TommyInnit: So why you so interested with me then?**

  
_Tubbo: Well you're new here obviously_   
_Tubbo: And I saw that you haven't been talking to anyone_

  
**TommyInnit: You've never talked to me in school though**

  
_Tubbo: I know and I wanted to say sorry_

  
**TommyInnit: For what? You haven't done anything**

  
_Tubbo: That's the problem_   
_Tubbo: I should have said hi earlier and made you feel welcome with me and my friends_   
_Tubbo: But I didn't, I just watched you suffer from afar_

  
**TommyInnit: I wouldn't say I've been suffering?**

A few minutes pass and no response comes through. The _Tubbo is typing..._ message appears every so often, however it's gone within a minute each time. Tommy holds his breath in anticipation and anxiety - has he said something upsetting?

Tommy finds himself frantically scrolling through the conversation dialogue, looking for things which may have been taken the wrong way. He feels a sweat begin to form on his forehead, but he tries to keep his composure.

At long last, a message appears.

_Tubbo: Listen, I know exactly how it feels to be the new kid. It was really hard to go through but believe me, you'll feel so much better coming to school if you have friends to be by your side. I know you may not trust anyone here or you may even be scared of them, but I promise I'm not going to hurt you._

Tommy hesitates. His fingers hover over the keyboard, flashing an assortment of rainbow lights beneath the keycaps back at him. Then he types.

**TommyInnit: You promise?**

_Tubbo is typing..._

_Tubbo: I promise. :D_

**TommyInnit is typing...**

**TommyInnit: thank you.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> ahh i'm so nervous to put this out into the world, but it's the most passionate i've been about a project in a really long time. please remember that i'm not in any means a professional writer so there's bound to be mistakes and errors - regardless though, hopefully you enjoyed!
> 
> this chapter is a little shorter with less content than the others will be, simply because it's introducing tommy and tubbo. the next chapter will focus more on how they interact irl :)
> 
> any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, just be polite about it <33


	2. bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tubbo makes the first move in progressing the friendship, and tommy opens up about his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> burn the witch - emma blackery 
> 
> i chose this song because it becomes very obvious the further you read that the correlation between the lyrics here, and the backstory explained in this chapter, is just so perfect. i've loved emma's music for a long time and wanted to include one of her songs at some point, and burn the witch was absolutely perfect for chapter two.
> 
> at the beginning of each chapter i'll select a suitable song that you can listen to, hopefully to help the mood and atmosphere because my writing may lack it at points.

**TW: This chapter contains discussion of past events of violent attacks and physical bodily harm (burns, bruises, and other kinds of non-gory physical violence). Please do not proceed if you feel like any of these topics may upset you or otherwise make reading this an unpleasant experience.**

The tip of the blue-striped pencil gently presses against the paper, creating a faint line grey in colour. The swirling formation soon becomes the outline of a person, with an oval-shaped head and a body similar to that of a drawing mannequin found in a crafts shop.

Tommy presses his right hand against his cheek, elbow propped on the desk. He sighs and slowly sinks to the right, the palm of his hand growing more smushed into his face.

His real-world attention may be on this sketch, but his mind is totally elsewhere. Perched high on a tree branch in the world inhabiting his imagination, was a small robin with a round belly and a cheery chirp. It whistled a happy song into the blue sky above, beak pointed upwards and round belly puffed out.

This world is where Tommy spends a considerable amount of his spare time whenever he finds himself to be in an uninteresting real-world situation; which, for the most part, is the majority of lessons in school. He named this land Pogtopia when he was a kid and hasn't changed the name since, and has told very few people about it. When he was only 9 years old and spending the most time he'd ever spent in Pogtopia, a couple of boys in his class asked him what he was daydreaming about. Tommy finally felt comfortable enough to tell them about his fantasy land and everything he got up to there, however the boys started laughing hysterically in his face to the point where they wept tears at the insanity. They couldn't take him seriously, they were convinced he was joking, and when Tommy tried to defend himself he was met with more mean-spirited laughter and a lot of hurt.

That was the last time he ever talked about Pogtopia.

The Maths teacher centred at the front of the classroom, Mr. Longshaw, natters on about factorising quadratics and points his metre-long wooden ruler at the whiteboard. He projects a question to the thirty-something mentally-exhausted students in the room, only to be met with a small murmur in response.

"So much for you being a top-set class," Mr. Longshaw sighs, bringing the stick to the floor and tapping it repeatedly. "You're supposed to be sitting the Higher paper in a few months' time, but at the moment you're refusing to answer a question even as simple as this."

The "simple" question being discussed took up half of the entire whiteboard on the wall. Tommy tunes out once more.

The robin in Pogtopia continues to chirp, before coming to a halt suddenly and then staring directly at the ground many feet below the branches. Tommy peers over too, and catches sight of a young teenage boy walking across the grass, occasionally stopping to admire the flowers.

He had a mop of brown hair, clutched the straps of his overalls, and walked with a spring in his step. Tommy knows exactly who this is.

"Tom?"

Tommy immediately jumps in his seat and whips his head around, only to be met with the same brunette-haired boy looking right back at him. The illusion of Pogtopia is quick to fade away from his vision.

"Toby, you just frightened me half to death," Tommy exclaims out-of-breath. He rests his hands on his thighs and takes a moment to compose himself, while Toby pulls up an empty chair nearby and sits himself down.

"Looks like I make the first move again," Toby giggles. He crosses one leg on top of the other and leans back in the chair. "Well, at least you're finally talking in school. I was worried you'd never do it."

Tommy glances quizzically at him. "You... were worried?"

"Y-yeah." Toby's voice is a lot more hushed and stutter-y now. His eyes meet the floor. "Truth is, I've been worried from the day you've started. I don't really know why..."

"Because I'm new?"

Toby's eyes lock with his again. "Precisely. You see, I overthink things a lot more than I should. All I could think about was you being alone for the rest of your time here."

"Why were you so worried? You hadn't even heard me speak before," Tommy retorts in confusion, as he crosses his arms across his chest.

Toby sighs. "Look, I really don't know, okay? I've met plenty of people starting at my school for the first time, but you just..."

"Stood out?"

"Mhm."

The two boys sit there for a few moments in silence, Toby awkwardly fidgeting with his fingers and Tommy trying to think of something to say. Nobody had shown this much attention and interest to Tommy before within such little time of knowing him, and actually meant it.

"Look... I really appreciate you taking an interest in me, even though you didn't know my name a few days ago," Tommy eventually says. He sits more upright in his seat and makes eye contact, to try and give off the impression that he's way more socially confident than he actually is.

He takes a deep breath and releases the tension from his shoulders. "I'm just struggling to understand what's so special about me. Maybe it's different from your perspective, but in my eyes I'm just as boring as the next teenage boy."

Tommy expects the awkwardness to only escalate from here, but instead something else happens. Toby shuffles his chair closer towards Tommy and takes hold of his arm. "You're not boring."

Tommy can't hide his smile. "Do you need your eyes checked?"

The same inescapable smile appears on Toby's face. "Nah, I don't think so. I'd just like it if you maybe appreciated yourself a little bit every once in a while."

"I can work on it. Only if you stop worrying about me though."

Toby extends a friendly hand. "It's a deal."

They shake hands and burst into laughter immediately after, lolling their heads back as they laugh. Mr. Longshaw begins shooting them both unimpressed glares, and Toby is the first to pick up on this.

"I've got a feeling Mr Longbottom isn't too pleased about me sitting over here," Toby remarks with a chuckle. "But if you need me to come over and 'help with your answers', then I'll be here in an instant."

He puts air-quotes around "help with your answers", only making Tommy laugh even more. Tommy nods and moves his chair back up to his place at the table, which only has 3 other people sitting around it. None of them seem to have noticed Tommy speaking though, which is quite the relief for him.

"Also, you can call me Tubbo if you want. I think it sounds nicer than Toby but it's up to you."

Tommy grins. "Alright Tubbo."

He returns to his seat at a couple tables behind Tommy, and every so often one of them turns towards the other and makes a silly face or does something stupid to get their attention. This gimmick continues throughout the rest of the lesson, unbeknownst to poor Mr. Longshaw who carries on attempting to get uninterested teenagers engaged in Maths.

Once the bell rings to signal the lesson's end, Tommy and Tubbo are among the first to get out. They end up meeting outside in the hallway, and it just so happens to be the hour-long lunchtime break.

Tubbo smiles warmly at Tommy, but Tommy feels unable to smile back when he notices Tubbo's circle of friends approaching as they exit the classroom. They take a look at Tommy for a few seconds out of curiosity before turning back to Tubbo.

"This your new friend?" one of them asks, gesturing to Tommy like he's some kind of trophy possession. He can't help but just stand there frozen in one position, keeping his eyes locked on his shoes below.

"Yeah this is Tommy," Tubbo replies in his usual enthusiastic tone. But once he realises Tommy's unresponsive-ness and fear-driven reaction to the whole situation, Tubbo's voice starts to falter. "Yeah actually guys, I think I'm g-gonna spend lunch with him today just to show him around the school and stuff. Y-you guys okay with that?"

Tommy still doesn't look up to the other boys, but they all nod and head off as one big group towards the school library. Tubbo turns to Tommy and takes hold of his shoulders, catching Tommy off-guard.

"You alright there?" Tubbo asks, breaking Tommy out of his stunned silence.

"Yeah I'm good." He begins walking towards the nearest door leading outside, and Tubbo falls into step beside him. "I just don't handle social situations very well. Sorry."

"Nah it's cool, don't apologise for something you can't control."

They head outside, and Tubbo takes the role of 'leader' and directs Tommy through a series of winding paths and turns. They arrive in a grassy field inside the school grounds; the emptiness is obvious as it isn't used much with the exception of sports games. Tubbo begins skipping through the field without a care in the world, until the pair arrive at a thick-trunk tree towering above the rest.

"Here's where I hang out when I want to be alone," he explains, taking a seat at the foot of the tree. He pats the grass beside him and Tommy obediently sits down. Tubbo leans against the tree bark and sighs happily, allowing the gentle breeze to lift the clusters of hair off his face.

"You see, my friends are all library geeks. Whenever I'm with them we spend all our break and lunchtimes in the library, either helping to run it and keep it organised or just sitting around and having fun."

He breathes slowly and deeply to regain his composure. "But since the summer term of year ten and especially the start of year eleven, they don't want to do funny stuff anymore. They're constantly revising every minute of their spare time, even when there's nothing to revise for and they've done everything they need to. Sometimes I suggest to them that we could do something fun like spending an hour playing crap Flash games from our childhoods on the computers, but they always shake their heads and point blank refuse to do anything of the sort."

Tubbo rests his hands in his lap, and looks up to Tommy with a remorseful look in his eye. "We haven't had a proper conversation in forever. Where it's just us, laughter, and making memories. And it doesn't feel real anymore."

Tommy listens carefully, and waits a while before speaking. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that."

He takes a moment to collect his words before continuing: "I suppose I haven't had experience with any genuine friends to begin with, but I can't believe they'd just turn on you like that. Like, revision and stuff is important... but friends matter too."

Tubbo nods. "Yeah. It hurts because we've been close since our childhood, and we used to talk about travelling the world and growing old together. We were convinced that we'd be best friends for life, as cringey as it sounds."

Silence coats the air around them, but it was comfortable silence; the type that feels like a safety blanket, keeping you warm and protected when in a state of vulnerability.

"What was your school like?"

"What?"

Tubbo raises an eyebrow. "The school you went to before this one. Or were you homeschooled?"

Tommy smiles. "No, I wasn't homeschooled. I went to a pretty wealthy boarding school from the age of five, where I'd basically been surrounded by the same people for ten years. It may sound nice but I didn't make any proper friends for the entirety of those ten years, because they all left me at some point or another."

Then Tommy has an idea. He removes his backpack and brings it to his lap, before unzipping the main compartment and rummaging around. He pulls out an A4 spiral notebook with a black front cover and starts flipping through the pages. He briefly ponders to himself whether this is a good idea, exposing his vulnerabilities so early on in the friendship.

But something within him trusts Tubbo on a completely different level. He decides to go through with it.

Tubbo can't identify exactly what is on the pages that fly past, but he can see a lot of pencil markings and occasional chunks of writing. His eyes flicker with curiosity and attentiveness.

Tommy stops at one particular double-page, with two sketches in black ink - one by each corner-edge - and the rest filled with blocks of writing. He shuffles closer towards Tubbo to show him the pages, even though he's fully aware of how indecipherable his handwriting is in this instance.

"Don't worry if you can't read it," Tommy retorts with a laugh. "I'll summarise it. This was written a couple months ago when my 'friends' turned out to be complete backstabbers and absolute assholes, and they did some really messed up stuff. So I sat by myself around the back of the school and did this, just to try and regulate my emotions."

Tubbo observes the pages carefully. The writing is messy and angry, but the drawings are even angrier. The black ink outlines look more like spikes, and there are several little holes in the page where the pen has accidentally pierced through.

The drawings themselves are rather disturbing - one is a face drawn with jagged edges and spikes protruding from the sides; the mouth stretching all the way down the face and black liquid pouring out of the empty eye sockets. The second is a human leaning against the wall of a brick building; the lower half of their body sprawled on the hard concrete. They are wearing a school blazer that isn't buttoned up, and sagging black trousers revealing part of their stomach and the waistband of their boxers. Underneath their blazer is a white school shirt with a red tie, but there are a number of stains splattered across. Their stomach features bruises and wounds lining the surface, and their face has been blacked out completely with furious scribbles; an empty medicine bottle resides next to one of the hands, lying dejectedly on the ground as if it isn't even meant to be part of the sketch.

Tommy recognises the alarmed expression on Tubbo’s face and chuckles nervously to ease the tension. "I know, it's quite disturbing." His tone is shaky and wavering between pitches, not to mention the physical shivering of his hands as they grasp the notebook tightly. "I hope I haven't freaked you out too much."

"You haven't," Tubbo replies quickly, still managing to uphold that iconic smile of his. He hovers his head above the pages and traces his index finger along the sketches. "These are really good, Tommy. Was there any driven thought process behind them?"

Tommy takes a moment to think. "The first one represents my raw emotions during the time that it happened. The second one is the aftermath, I'd sa-"

"Did you draw yourself in that second one?" Tubbo interrupts abruptly, eyes drawn to the lower right hand corner on the second page.

Tommy hesitates. "It's like what I'd imagine myself looking like from somebody else's perspective. Like, if somebody were to walk past and not know anything about me. But I don't think I'd look that cool."

Tubbo nods. "What's that bottle for?" he quietly questions, pointing to the medicine bottle. He hasn't noticed the rogue pills spilling out of it.

"Oh, I don't know why I put that there," Tommy lies, gritting his teeth together silently through his false claims. The feeling of guilt and awfulness of lying to somebody like Tubbo sends pain ricocheting around in his chest, but Tubbo doesn't need to know about the whole mess regarding Tommy's medication at the moment.

Maybe in the future, if he's able to emotionally cope with things like this.

Tommy pulls the notebook closer towards him. "Here, I'll read a brief summary of what I've written here. Let's see... the first page discusses what they did to me. When... when they surrounded me coming out of Chemistry class, one of them clutching a bottle of some acid clearly stolen from the lab. When the cap of that bottle was knocked off and the liquid consequently spilled onto my clothes and bare skin, b-burning me and causing excruciating pain while they all gathered around me and laughed. When I ran to one of the sinks in the lab to try and rinse it off, but o-one of them grabbed the collar of my shirt and threw my head back against the taps with such a force that the back of my head started b-bleeding."

Ever so slowly, Tubbo's hand clasps over his mouth once he's heard enough to make him feel crushed. His eyes grow wider the more Tommy talks, and at one point he looks absolutely heartbroken for him.

Tommy sighs sadly. "Then... then they pushed me to the floor and three of them started kicking me at the same time. And another one crouched over me with his legs firmly p-pressed against my sides, and he just started punching me in the face non-stop. It took several long, p-painful minutes before a teacher finally noticed and separated them from me."

Tommy had looked away in the opposite direction halfway through talking, and when Tubbo looks at him again, he notices tears start to trickle down Tommy's cheeks. Tommy immediately spots Tubbo looking and furiously wipes them away with his sleeve.

"And then the second page," Tommy continues once he's gathered himself once more, flipping the first page behind it so the second page is the only one on display. "The aftermath of everything, I guess. My emotions were a-all over the place, I didn't know whether I wanted to cry or punch someone. I had spent five minutes letting out the ugliest noises ever as it all c-came rushing back, but by this point all I felt was... numbness."

Tubbo listens attentively, at some point putting a supportive hand on Tommy's leg to try and comfort him. Tommy doesn't notice.

"And then I put in my earphones and plugged them into my phone, and I started doing a-all of this." He gestures to the page. "My hands were so shaky when I tried to write, so I did the drawings first to try and get it out of my system. They came out a little scarier than I imagined but I think it's a good r-representation. It felt like there was a big black scribble in my head overriding every logical thought process, giving me more pain than the physical wounds and bruises on my body."

Tommy takes a few moments to stare at the sketches and words there before him, before he starts to unbutton his school blazer and push up the white school shirt beneath to reveal his stomach to Tubbo. Deep purple and brown bruises are speckled across, accompanied by the scars from the slices made to his skin at the time.

Then he turns sideways and pulls up the shirt a bit more, pausing for a handful of seconds until turning to the other side and doing the same. The bruises on both of his sides look more agonising than the ones on his stomach, clear markings of how he had been firmly held in place.

Tubbo's heart aches in a way he's never felt before. "I... I'm so sorry."

Tommy pulls down his shirt, slips on the blazer and smiles at him kindly. "It's okay, Tubbo. You weren't to know." He closes the notebook and puts it on the ground, before sliding closer towards Tubbo and putting a hand on his shoulder in the same way Tubbo had done to him.

"I'm doing better now. And I'm glad that I met you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> firstly, i would like to express my gratitude and enormous appreciation for over 100 reads on ao3!!! i seriously did not expect that many people to see my work and actually take enough interest in it to click on it and give it a read, so thank you so much for the support this far. additionally, i'd also like to thank those who have given kudos on ao3, left votes on wattpad, and provided me with comments of support on both platforms!!! the engagement makes me so damn happy and i promise to try my best to respond to every single comment i get :D
> 
> if you would like to see the release dates for new chapters when they're announced or other fic-related news, i'd highly recommend following my twitter @ tr4inofthoughts !! i also just generally retweet mcyt stuff as well :)
> 
> once again, thank you all for the insane support and i will try my absolute best to keep writing and uploading on a consistent basis !! any delays or changes will be announced on my twitter, which will remain as the fastest way to know any changes or important information regarding this fic.


	3. memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tommy and tubbo bond over a game that they have a deep emotional connection with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> free choice of any minecraft music you want!! you can play the c418 soundtracks or music discs in a playlist, or minecraft lofi / other remixes. enjoy the nostalgia :D
> 
> since this chapter focuses heavily on minecraft, i decided to allow you to choose any c418 song you'd like. i hope you enjoy the nostalgia-fest :)
> 
> at the beginning of each chapter i'll select a suitable song that you can listen to, hopefully to help the mood and atmosphere because my writing may lack it at points.

Tommy's eyes flutter with tiredness, as the vibrant colours on the monitor glare back at him. The nostalgic C418 music plays through the headset covering his ears, as his avatar stands completely still in the inside of his home.

Tommy has been playing Minecraft for half of his natural life - he picked up the game for Xbox 360 at Asda in 2013, and many years later he continues to be obsessed with the franchise. Despite all of the new updates and the many switches in platforms, nothing makes him feel more at peace and protected than the classic C418 soundtracks.

Dry Hands is playing now; the song that seems to play out of nowhere several times during each play session. It brings back floods of memories to a much younger Tommy sitting on the carpet of his bedroom, equipped with a white Xbox 360 controller and £10 headset. He would excitedly talk into the attached microphone to the 6 or so friends he'd made online in an Xbox Live party, building an entire town with them and laughing at the nonsensical jokes they'd make.

Younger Tommy was mesmerised by the idea of Minecraft, while current Tommy holds a strong emotional attachment to the game even after so many years.

He allows the music to swash around inside his brain. Each piano note communicates to him on a much different level than any other music ever could. Of course Tommy continues to appreciate music on Spotify from more modern artists, but if he had to listen to one album for the rest of his life he would choose Minecraft Volume Alpha by C418 in a heartbeat.

Tommy picks up his phone from the desk, which has been placed face-down for the entirety of his time playing. He doesn't like having the peace disturbed when playing Minecraft; besides, it's not like anybody would text him anyway.

The time on the lockscreen reads 11:28pm. Maybe I should log off now, Tommy thinks. He presses the esc key and brings up the pause menu on the screen. But just as he goes to put his phone back down again and shut off Minecraft for the night, a notification appears from the Discord app.

_Tubbo: Hi!! :D_

Tommy finds himself smiling. He feels guilty about always letting Tubbo make the first move, but it hasn't quite sunk in just yet that somebody actually cares enough to message him first and put in some effort to stay in contact out of school hours.

He tabs out of Minecraft and opens up Discord on his computer, then begins to type:

**TommyInnit: Hey dude, what's up?**

_Tubbo: Nothing muchhh, wbu?_

**TommyInnit: Yea not much either**

**TommyInnit: Just playing some Minecraft**

_Tubbo: Ooh I love that game!!_

**TommyInnit: Really? How long've you been playing it for?**

_Tubbo: Since I was about 7? Got it for Christmas one year and I haven't stopped playing since_

**TommyInnit: Same :)**

_Tubbo: What do you play on?_

**TommyInnit: Java, wbu?**

_Tubbo: Same!! Wanna play together someday?_

**TommyInnit: Ye that would be cool**

**TommyInnit: Actually, you wanna play rn? If you're free of course**

_Tubbo: Yeah I can play for a bit, I'll start up a server now and give you the IP :)_

And so that's what ends up happening; Tommy logs into the world that Tubbo generated, and the two quickly approach each other's avatars in the game. Tubbo crouches repeatedly and Tommy does the same.

The chat box in the lower left hand corner of the screen pops up, and an in-game message appears:

<Tubbo_> You wanna call on Discord?

Tommy opens up the chat and types back:

<TommyInnit> Yes :)

There's a pool of anxiety welling in the pit of Tommy's stomach as he presses the call button. He holds his breath and bites his bottom lip anxiously as it rings, until Tubbo picks up and the circle around his profile picture glows a comforting green.

"Hello?"

Tommy grins. "Hey Tubbo."

They start talking as they begin making progress on the world, first by chopping down trees and making basic tools. Tubbo instructs Tommy to get some cobblestone while he makes a makeshift base carved out in the side of a nearby hill.

"You know, I really like cobblestone," Tommy says. "You can get a lot of it easily and it's a nice block to build out of."

Tubbo sighs. "If you make everything out of cobblestone I will not hesitate to IP ban you."

They laugh, and Tommy returns obediently after a while with half a stack of cobblestone. Tommy crafts some stone tools for the pair of them and a couple furnaces to place inside the base, while Tubbo continues to dig out the inside of the hill-cave.

"I like the look of this." Tommy moves his avatar around the cave, impressed with how spacious it is after not even ten minutes of being in the world. He uses dirt to block up the front with the exception of a 1x2 hole where the door is designated to go. "What should we call it?"

"Huh?" Tubbo replies, abruptly stopping the carving of the walls to turn his avatar to look at Tommy. "This is just a cave, Tommy. We'll build a proper house when we've got the materials."

Tommy chuckles. "But this cave will always be special, won't it? It's the first place we'll call home on this world. I say we give it a name."

"Fine, we can name it." Neither of them can see each other, but Tommy is perfectly aware that Tubbo is smiling like crazy on the other side of the screen.

They conjure up some name suggestions for the cave. "In all honesty Tommy, I can't imagine myself growing emotionally attached to this cave. You can just name it after yourself if you want." Tubbo turns back to the walls.

Then an idea pops into Tommy's head. "TommyInnit Enterprise! I'll set up something of my own in here one day... maybe a drug ring or something." The sudden excitement and passion in his voice takes Tubbo by surprise, but the mention of a drug ring sends them both into fits of laughter.

"Seriously? A drug ring?" Tubbo's avatar moves towards Tommy's, and he hits him playfully dealing a couple hearts' worth of damage.

Tommy hits Tubbo back and starts digging out the floor of the cave. "But TommyInnit Enterprise sounds cool, doesn't it?"

Tubbo jumps in the gap where Tommy is digging, stops just before him and crouches. "Sure thing, Tommy. But let's get some wool to make some beds first, before TommyInnit Enterprise becomes one big blown-up creeper crater."

They leave the cave together and start searching for animals, laughing and talking along the way. Most of the conversation has no topic of interest, but for once Tommy feels safe and supported.

Is this what feels normal to Tubbo?

Soon the square-shaped Minecraft sun sets over the horizon, while the moon rises in the opposite direction. Clark begins to play as Tubbo stands on top of a nearby tree and stares at the moon. The white light illuminates the dark blue sky, the intensity getting brighter with each pixel that rises further up.

Tommy spots Tubbo on the tree and builds up to him curiously. "What are you doing up here?"

Tubbo pauses for a moment before replying: "It's so relaxing watching day become night. Maybe it's just me who finds beauty in that."

"Beauty?"

Tommy perches on the treetop beside him. Tubbo's head turns to meet his.

"Yeah. I've sat and watched day become night, and vice versa, so many times throughout the years I've spent playing." Tubbo's head turns back to the moon. "It became habit."

A comfortable silence fills the air. The sky is now abundantly black, with little glistening stars speckled all over. Tommy sighs gently. "Let's get inside and make some beds, I don't fancy dealing with any mobs for now."

Tubbo's avatar nods, and the two head inside the cave. Tommy crafts a door out of oak wood planks and places it in the 1x2 hole, while Tubbo crafts the beds from the wool that they gathered before sunset.

He places his own bed against the back wall, then hesitates while holding the other bed. Tommy witnesses this and starts laughing uncontrollably.

Tubbo turns around to look at Tommy and starts smiling awkwardly to himself behind the screen. Then he eventually asks, "You wanna put your Minecraft bed next to mine?"

"Give me that bed," Tommy says, and Tubbo obediently drops it. Tommy picks the bed up and places it right next to Tubbo's, and right-clicks his mouse to sleep in it. "Now it's official."

Tubbo chuckles and sleeps in the other bed. "I suppose it is."

When the next day arrives in game, they head out on their own separate quests to make progress in the world. Tommy is in charge of gathering food and starting a farm, while Tubbo is given the role of starting a strip-mine below the base and hopefully coming across a cave or mineshaft.

"Die, piggies, die!" Tommy calls out while attacking a group of pigs with a sword. Tubbo splutters in laughter at this.

"You could be a little bit nicer to them."

"What's the point? They're gonna be food at some stage or another," Tommy protests. He eyes up some cows nearby and starts charging towards them, sword flailing in the air. "How's your mining expedition going?"

"It's going good," Tubbo replies. "I've come across a lot of coal and some iron, but no diamond yet. Not even a naturally-generated cave."

"At least we've got some iron." Tommy successfully kills the cows and starts sprint-jumping around the plains biome looking for more animals. "Tell you what, when I get back I'll put some stairs down so you can get up and down quicker. Since I'm so nice."

Tubbo stifles a laugh. "Alright Mr Nice Guy, the one who's so nice that he goes about attacking wild animals and yelling at them to die."

Tommy snorts.

"Oh, I can be hella nice. And I can be hella mean too."

While day becomes night in the Minecraft world, the same occurs in reality. The hours merge into each other, the concept of time feels unearthly. Tommy forgets what the real world is actually like until he hears a gentle knock on his bedroom door. He tugs off the headset and puts his mic on mute just as the door slowly opens.

"Yeah?"

Tommy's mum sticks her head around the door. "Do you think you could be a bit quieter please? Your father has work in a couple hours."

All of a sudden, the reality of everything starts crashing down on him. The first thing his eyes dart to is the window, where the sky is completely pitch black with the moon overlooking the houses from the left side. Everything in the neighbourhood outside is... still. Calm. The only source of light in Tommy's bedroom is the computer monitor, emitting the grey light of the pause menu. He looks over at the clock now: 1:32am. Shit.

Tommy then briefly looks down at himself. He didn't change out of his uniform before talking to Tubbo. His shirt is crumpled, trousers creased, tie practically resting on his shoulder. His spine feels numb from sitting in one position for hours, and the feeling in his legs is equivalent to what TV static would feel like.

His mum stands in the doorway, an expression of confusion on her face at Tommy's derealisation. He snaps out of his third-person experience quickly.

"S-sorry."

She nods and gently shuts the door behind her. But Tommy doesn't move in his chair upon her departure; he remains frozen in place, staring emptily at the closed door.

He starts to feel a bit disgusting. Maybe it's time to actually log off for the night, like he intended to do all those hours ago.

Tommy slips on the headset, and goes to unmute his mic until he hears something peculiar. Is... Tubbo talking to himself?

 _That's interesting,_ Tommy thinks. _I might stay muted for a bit longer._

But it soon becomes very apparent that he isn't talking to himself - there's someone else in the room with him.

"Yeah... okay. You'll be okay." Tubbo's tone of voice is turned down to a soft whisper, a side of him that Tommy has never seen before. "It's just a bad dream, isn't it? Yeah? It's not real... I'll come tuck you back into bed if you want, okay? Okay, give me a second."

"Hi Tubbo," Tommy says, unmuting as soon as the talking stops. "What's going on?"

"Oh hi Tommy." There's some shuffling sounds coming from Tubbo's end of the call. "My little sister had a nightmare so I'm gonna put her back in bed. Give me a few minutes."

Tommy is impressed by Tubbo's responsibility. "Alright, I need to change clothes and brush my teeth anyway."

They both put their mics on mute, and Tommy finally stands up from his chair for the first time in what feels like forever. His legs turn to jelly and he clutches the desk to keep him steady. He's still in amazement that he managed to stay up playing for this long without feeling fatigued - in fact, he feels more awake physically than he did before Tubbo messaged him.

Tommy grabs a pile of clothes from the top of his dresser and makes his way into the bathroom across the hall. He pulls on the baseball tee and tracksuit bottoms, relieved to discard the uncomfortable uniform onto the floor. Then he runs a comb through his hair and washes his face with cold water, patting it dry with a towel as he stares emotionlessly at his reflection in the mirror.

His mind fog gets worse with each passing second. Like when you wake up from a nap at 7pm, but in your mind you're convinced it's the next morning and can't make sense of time. Tommy can't tell if he's so sleepy that he's delirious and hallucinating, or so awake that he's seeing himself from the third person.

He lines his toothbrush with the tube of toothpaste lying on the bathroom counter, and half of it slopes down the side of the bristles. Yep, he's definitely extremely tired.

By the time Tommy returns to his computer and sits down, his eyes feel very heavy. He puts on the headset.

"You back?"

"Yeah," Tubbo replies instantly. "Sister is alright now. She gets pretty bad nightmares from time to time, so most nights I have to comfort her and put her back in bed. Sorry about that."

"No no, don't apologise." Tommy lets out an inescapable yawn, one that sends shivers and shakes down his whole body.

"Somebody's tired," Tubbo giggles. "Are you sleepyyyy?"

Tubbo seems delirious too.

"My bed is calling for me," Tommy retorts with a laugh. "I think I'm gonna head off now."

"Whyyyyyy," Tubbo whines. He walks towards Tommy's avatar and crouches while bowing his head to look upset.

"We have school tomorrow." Tommy rubs his eyes tiredly with his fists. "I will literally fall asleep at my desk if I stay awake any longer."

Tubbo yawns too. "Yeah, maybe you're right. But I wanna stay on for a little longer to try and get some diamonds."

Tommy chuckles in disbelief. "Okay then, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't come complaining to me tomorrow when you're falling asleep in class."

"Oh, you're gonna be hearing all about it."

Tommy logs out of the world and shuts down Minecraft. He puts the Discord application on full-screen, where he just stares at the two profile pictures for a little while.

"Wakey wakeyyyy."

"I'm still awake Tubbo," Tommy laughs. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow. Please don't stay up too late."

"I'll try," Tubbo says.

The call ends and Tommy shuts down his PC. He gets up from his desk and activates the lamp on his nightstand, illuminating the room with a golden glow. He closes the curtains and slips into bed, desperate for sleep.

Once his phone is plugged into the charging cable, he switches the light off and can at last lie in the darkness and peace. The memories from the Minecraft world with Tubbo are already replaying in his head, with each bright colour flashing more vibrantly than the last, until his head is clouded with blobs of neon and glimmers of happiness.

Tommy turns onto his side, head sinking deeper into the pillow. Even if he'll be sleep deprived as fuck when he wakes up, it was absolutely worth it.

The C418 soundtracks echo in his mind; they trance him into such a state of relaxation and safety that he swiftly falls asleep. The last thing Tommy thinks about is watching the moon rise with Tubbo by his side, and the warmness woven into his voice as if to say: _I care_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading !!
> 
> thank you all so much for the insane support you’ve shown over the last week. hitting 500 reads on ao3 today was absolutely incredible and i never imagined this fic getting this far. 
> 
> i don’t want to set in stone a specific upload schedule for now, because chapters may get rushed just to meet deadlines as a result, and i don’t want to put out content that isn’t the best it can be.
> 
> however, you’ll be told in advance when the next chapter is getting uploaded by heading over to my twitter !! this time i forgot to announce it because i was meant to upload yesterday but the chapter hadn’t been edited, but i’ll be sure to stay more consistent with announcements in the future.
> 
> hope you enjoyed chapter three !! <3


	4. sleep deprivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tubbo doesn’t get enough sleep, and tommy is curious as to why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're going to be friends - the white stripes
> 
> i knew i wanted this song featured at some point in the story, and this chapter felt just right :D
> 
> at the beginning of each chapter i'll select a suitable song that you can listen to, hopefully to help the mood and atmosphere because my writing may lack it at points.

"I told you sooooo," Tommy continues to sing, dragging out the last vowel just to get under his skin.

A tired murmur comes from underneath the exhausted lump of limbs and flesh collapsed on the desk. "Knock it off Tommy, you've told me about fifty five times.”

"And I'll tell you at least fifty six," he retorts. He slips out a black felt-tip pen from his pencil case, the tip rich and thick in ink. "Can I draw on you?"

Tubbo still doesn't get up or even move his head whatsoever. "Go ahead, if it means you'll shut up."

Tommy smirks and pushes up the sleeve of Tubbo's blazer to expose his lower arm. He manually flips his arm so the forearm is facing upwards, then he gets to work on his masterpiece.

Meanwhile, Tubbo remains unresponsive with the exception of a couple stifled groans and whines. Tommy knew he'd be like this, from the moment he woke up that morning and checked his phone to find a Discord message sent at 5:34am - "I found diamonds."

Now they're in History class, a GCSE subject they'd both chosen before they even knew each other. Thanks to their surnames both starting with the letter 'S', they were automatically placed beside each other on the alphabetically-ordered seating plan - although Tubbo was half-considering asking to move at this stage.

Tommy releases his grip on Tubbo's arm and puts the cap back on the pen. He admires the little Minecraft bee that he drew. "Done! Tubbo, you'll actually be able to see what I drew if you just look."

Tubbo groans some more. "I'm just trying to sleep, dude. I told you this morning."

"Maybe you shouldn't have gone to bed at half 5 then," Tommy replies cheekily. He nudges Tubbo's arm playfully. "Come onnnn, you know the teacher is gonna see you."

"I don't care," Tubbo mutters. He lets out a long exhale before adjusting the position of his arms on the desk to be more comfortable.

"Are you expecting a pillow or something?" Tommy jokes. Then, for whatever reason, he decides to take off his blazer and fold it up into a makeshift cushion - despite the fact that the Autumn gusts were blowing through the open windows and giving everyone goosebumps.

Tommy pushes the folded-up blazer towards Tubbo, and his head moves slightly as he looks at it. "Are you mad? It's so cold in here."

"Go on, that can be your pillow." Tommy immediately feels the shivers creep up his arms and seep into his body, but he pretends that he can't feel a thing.

Tubbo chuckles to himself. "All the hairs on your arms are standing up," he says, after Tommy desperately tries to argue that he isn't even slightly cold.

But eventually Tubbo takes the blazer and places it in front of him on the desk. He wraps his arms around it protectively and smushes his face into the fabric.

Tommy flips to the back page of his History workbook and begins sketching again. He expects little to no communication from Tubbo from this point forward, so it's back to the land of Pogtopia and its many mysteries.

Now, Tommy was at the castle located on the hilltops of Pogtopia. The land isn't necessarily a kingdom, but having a castle just looks cool - and anything is possible in Pogtopia. Tommy stands confidently on the balcony overlooking the land, a red cape with fluffy white trim tied around his neck. The golden crown resting in his blonde locks shines and sparkles in the rays of sunlight.

The busywork and hustle of the local Pogtopia village wasn't hard to miss from the castle. But distinct from the typical bread-makers, blacksmiths and tailors distributed throughout the village, a sleepy boy on a bench underneath a tree stood out more than anyone else.

The silhouettes of these other village-people slowly became blacked-out, only leaving the boy visible. He was sleeping peacefully, hands tucked underneath his heavy head. He looked ever so calm and graceful - like a fairytale in some sense.

But it doesn't take long before Tommy comes to the realisation that this boy isn't just anyone. It's Tubbo. How the fuck does he keep appearing in Pogtopia like that?

Shivers travel down Tommy's spine. It's now the second time in a row that Tubbo has randomly shown up in Tommy's fantasy land, completely unannounced yet so naturally. Nobody else from the real world has ever appeared in Pogtopia in such a manner before; Tommy didn't know what to make of it.

Curiously, he steps down out of his castle and approaches the sleeping Tubbo. He awakes and rubs his eyes, and seems completely unbothered when the Prince of Pogtopia is standing before him.

"Hi Sir," Tubbo greets warmly, still yawning from his sleep. "How's your day been?"

"Tubbo?" Tommy questions. "It's Tommy. You don't have to call me Sir."

Tubbo hesitates. "Oh... are you sure? Everyone around here does."

Tommy smiles. "I'm pretty sure. Come, let's head into the castle for a bit. You look awfully cold out here."

"The temperature doesn't affect me anymore." Tubbo arises from the bench and follows Tommy in the direction of the castle. "Do you need anything from me?"

"No," Tommy replies softly. "I'm just curious... why do you always show up here?"

Tubbo raises a quizzical eyebrow. "What do you mean? I live here."

Tommy stops in his tracks. "You... live here?"

Tubbo nods.

"For how long?"

"I can't remember," Tubbo says. He puts his hands in his trouser pockets and smiles awkwardly. "As long as I've been alive, I think."

"But I've never seen you around here before." Tommy continues to walk and Tubbo obediently follows, and soon they arrive at the castle.

Tubbo looks down at the ground. "Well, I don't really know what to say. Maybe you just haven't been around the village that much... I-I don't know."

Tommy steps inside the castle, his metal shoe clacking against the square tiles lining the first floor. But the moment Tubbo's shoe makes contact with the ground inside the building, the land of Pogtopia quickly descends into the real world. Tommy jumps slightly from the sudden transition, and his first instinct is to turn to his left and look at Tubbo.

He's still peacefully resting beside him, face buried in the polyester of Tommy's blazer. Completely unbothered and undisturbed. Tommy's mind fog returns.

He looks down at the back page of the book that he was drawing on. In his disassociation, Tommy has somehow managed to pierce the pencil so hard through the paper that it left a noticeable hole. He puts the pencil to one side and laughs at himself.

Then, he turns his head sideways and looks at the sleepy Tubbo in the real world. His face is entirely covered by the long brown hair drooping down messily. Tommy pushes some of it back.

"Hi sleepyhead."

This time, Tubbo doesn't respond with a grunt or complaint - in fact, his eyes are already open by the time Tommy can see them again.

"Hello TommyInnit," Tubbo says quietly. His voice is plagued with sleep-deprivation and deliriousness, but it's ever so gentle and delicate. Like the way he was speaking to his little sister the night before, a tone of voice that could soothe you during your darkest times.

At long last, Tubbo raises his head and ruffles his hair in an effort to tidy it. He props his head up with his hands and yawns tiredly, blinking slowly as if adjusting to the change in light and motion.

Tubbo holds the blazer close to his chest. "These blazers may be very uncomfortable to wear, but they sure do make good pillows."

Tommy has a smile plastered on his face that he can't shrug off. "Do you do this often?"

Tubbo's head tilts sideways in confusion. "Do what?"

"Sleep in class. Or at least try to."

Tubbo shakes his head. "Not often. The latest I stay up on school nights is 2-ish, so last night was a total change in my sleep schedule."

A pang of guilt stabs Tommy in the ribs. Ouch. "I'm really sorry."

Tubbo stares at Tommy with an even more confused expression. "Dude, you don't have to apologise for everything. I was the one who wanted to stay up and find diamonds. You went to bed at a reasonable time."

Tommy rolls his eyes playfully. "I couldn't sleep for at least half an hour though. The Minecraft music wouldn't stop playing in my head... and there were so many colours flashing before me..."

Tommy's words fall flat towards the end, as he begins recalling the experience of trying to fall asleep last night. The abundance of light glowing in his mind, accompanied alongside the nostalgic tunes that had kept him up at night so many times throughout his childhood.

Tubbo stretches his arms out on table. "Well, at least you got some sleep. I barely got 2 hours."

"But were the diamonds worth it?"

"100%," Tubbo replies with no hesitation. "Diamonds overrule anything else important."

Tommy snickers. "I suppose you're right." He picks up the pencil discarded on the desk, twiddling it about in between his fingers. He turns to the correct page in his History book and slides it over to Tubbo. "Here, copy out the notes I've written today so you don't fall behind. I'll keep writing the rest and you can just write them from my book at the end."

Tubbo's head suddenly jerks up and his eyes immediately search for Tommy's. "Really?"

"Yes Tubbo," Tommy replies with a grin. "I don't wanna put up with sleepy Tubbo all day so you may as well get some rest now."

"Thank you man, you're a lifesaver." He brings Tommy's book closer to him and starts writing the notes into his own.

The lesson continues into the late morning, until the bell finally rings at 10 - the time when Tommy would typically be waking up on weekends. Tubbo lolls his head around and slumps his shoulders tiredly, tugging on the straps of his backpack with as little effort as possible.

Tommy observes this with amusement. "God, you're seriously feeling the regret now, huh?"

Tubbo nods his head slowly. He tags along behind Tommy as they head outside for the morning breaktime, an opportunity to relax before enduring the rest of the school day. They walk to the same spot beneath the tree outside in the fields, where Tubbo promptly throws himself onto the grass and shuts his eyes upon impact. He rolls about in the grass with his limbs extended.

"This feels great," Tubbo murmurs. The sun feels warm on his skin, pressing the heat into what feels like below the surface. Tommy tosses his backpack to the side and sits down beside his friend.

"You're gonna get mud all over your blazer," Tommy laughs. He settles himself down gently on the ground, making sure to remove his blazer first to avoid the same fate. "It's very warm here."

Tubbo tilts his head up to the sky and smiles from cheek-to-cheek. "I love being in the sun. The pre-sunset sun is the best for when you just wanna lie in the grass and take it all in, especially when there's a nice evening breeze."

Tommy positions his arms behind his head and turns towards Tubbo. "Agreed. The midday sun just kinda makes you feel..."

"Sticky?"

They both burst into collective laughter. "Maybe you could have chosen a better word," Tommy admits, "but you're right. Just makes you feel gross instead of relaxed, yknow?"

"I get you." Tubbo props himself up for a few seconds while he takes off the blazer, already clinging to his skin as a result from the heat. He discards it onto the ground with a brief toss.

Tommy starts pulling out a few strands of grass within reaching distance of his hand, and his eyes flicker to the tree branches slowly moving in the distance. "Have you watched the sunset before? Or the sunrise?"

Tubbo lays back down next to him. "I don't think I have. I've always wanted to, though."

"Maybe that's something to look forward to someday," Tommy suggests. "I've seen both. Not with anybody, just by myself on the roof of my house mostly. But one time I went for a walk at three in the morning and ended up walking up a hill to watch the sunrise."

"Did your mum notice?" Tubbo asks curiously. Tommy chuckles in response.

"Of course she did. I left a handwritten note stuck to my bedroom door before I left, so she didn't freak out and start a police search for me. But she lets me go on walks and stuff whenever I want because it helps to clear my mind."

Tommy debates to himself whether to continue further. While he had never felt so comfortable and open with a friend before meeting Tubbo, he remains unable to let go of that hesitation about what information is safe to be shared and what needs to be reserved.

Tubbo's eyes are gleaming with anticipation and safety. Tommy can't persuade himself to say anything else, out of fear that he'll scare him and destroy the mood. He bites his tongue.

"That sounds cool," Tubbo finally replies. "I wish my mum was fine with me doing that."

Tommy shoots him a look of confusion. "Are you allowed to leave the house?"

"Well yeah. Just not when it gets dark, or when she wants me to stay inside and do chores." Tubbo then grins and runs a hand through his hair. "But I go out anyway. A lot more than other people would, I'd say. I like to escape whenever I can and get some adventure going in my life."

"What's it like at home, then?"

Tubbo slowly stiffens and winces as he tries to gather the right words to say. He exhales and shuffles closer to Tommy. "It's... it's hard. My little sister's nightmares are only a small part of the issue... there's a lot more stuff going on that can mess with my moods in seconds. I live with my mum and four siblings, so it gets really hectic at times."

"Four siblings?" Tommy grows curious.

"An older brother, two older sisters and a younger sister." Tubbo smiles slightly when he starts thinking about them. "They're mad, all of them, but I'm glad that I have a family. One boy in my friend group only lives with his dad and has no other family. I'd always invite him around to hang out to try and distract him from the loneliness."

Tommy fidgets with his fingers as he listens. "God, that sucks. I live with my mum and dad but I don't feel lonely without siblings. It just feels a bit closer-knit, that's the only major difference. I got quite lonely at my old school but meeting you has definitely hel-."

"God, what I'd give to hear complete silence again."

Tubbo doesn't make eye contact after speaking like he usually does. Instead he stares off into the sky, his face gradually growing red as his vision blurs with tears.

"W-what do you mean?"

"There's always noise even when it's nighttime. Somebody is always blasting music, having a heated argument, or just being noisy with everything they do." Tubbo looks at Tommy with a pained expression. "Do you know how hard it is to get a good night's sleep in that house?"

Tommy's face falls as he connects the dots in his brain. "Is... is that why you stayed up so late last night?"

And that is when Tubbo breaks. Tommy immediately rushes to his side and lets him completely melt into a puddle of despair and pain, as he completely shuts down mentally and everything holding him together shatters. Tubbo tries so hard to get it under control and stabilise himself as quickly as possible, but all he can do is weep into Tommy's shoulder.

"I-I-I'm so s-sorry..." Tubbo splutters in between his sobs. Tommy rubs his back supportively.

"Don't be sorry," he says gently. "Take all the time you need."

The sound of Tubbo breaking apart sends Tommy into a panicked and heartbroken spiral. It's like the tough brick walls protecting Tubbo's vulnerabilities have finally given way, after so long of taking the brunt of so many attacks and hardships.

Tubbo clings onto Tommy. "I'm s-so s-scared..."

Tommy holds him tight. "You don't need to be. I'm right here, Tubbo. I promise I'm not going anywhere."

After a handful of sadness-infused minutes that felt ever-lasting, Tubbo finally sits up and wipes the tears with his arm. He can't bring himself to make eye contact with Tommy - his eyes focus only on the reminder of what happened, in the form of a wet patch on the boy's shoulder.

"I... I'm-"

"Please Tubbo, don't keep apologising," Tommy pleads. "I really, really don't mind. Honestly. It's safe here, I want to make you feel safe and comfortable."

Tubbo takes a moment to think, then chuckles to himself sadly. "Thank you man. This means the world."

Tommy beams. "Seriously Tubbo, it's no problem. It's what any good friend would do."

A flash of sadness appears on Tubbo's face once more. "Well... my old friends-"

"You know what," Tommy interrupts suddenly. He stretches an arm around Tubbo comfortably, his hand resting on his shoulder. "With all due respect, fuck your old friends. They clearly don't give a toss anymore, and you shouldn't let them drag you down like this. What matters is that I'm here now, okay?"

He makes direct eye contact and holds it. "I'm here to support you, care for you, listen to you, and most importantly be the friend that you damn deserve. I'm not going to judge you for anything, and I definitely won't be going anytime soon. Please always remember that."

Tubbo leans his head on Tommy. "Thank you so much, the same goes for you obviously. I'm always here whenever you need to get something off your chest, or if you just wanna cry and laugh about it afterwards."

Then he looks up at the blue-eyed boy who has made him feel so warm, safe and supported in a matter of days. He can't fathom that the two of them hadn't even spoken before at the start of the week, but here they were a short while later crying in a field.

"I'll never forget about this, Tommy."

On cue, Tubbo yawns rather loudly and laughs. "God, this sleep deprivation sure is getting to me today."

"Maybe that's why you're so emotional." Tommy says this kindly, squeezing his friend playfully. "Don't worry. I'll make it my duty to ensure you get to bed early tonight, okay?"

"And what happens if I choose not to comply?" Tubbo grins.

Tommy shoves him away jokingly. "Then you won't ever hear the end of it. I will not rest until I'm sure you are too."

"And what if it gets too loud?"

"Then you can put on your headset and listen to me before you fall asleep."

Tubbo's head sways gently, as he looks up to the sky above which has slowly gathered fluffy white clouds overtime. "I'd like that a lot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading !!
> 
> we're nearly at 1000 hits on ao3, and i am truly lost for words. i say this a lot but thank you so so so much for the support, it has really kept me motivated to continue writing and overall has been a major confidence booster. i'm so pleased that so many of you have taken a liking to my work :)
> 
> next week will be my last week in school before the christmas break, so very soon i’ll be able to write and update more consistently !! thank you everyone for your patience over the last two-ish weeks, i wanted to get this chapter out yesterday but i was ill - fortunately i’m feeling better now
> 
> stay tuned for the next chapter, which will be released either this weekend or sometime early next week !! <33


	5. anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a new opportunity arises for tommy and tubbo, one that has the potential to change their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> count on me - bruno mars
> 
> with tommy facing a brand new adventure, i figured i'd choose a nice and simple song about friendship to signify tubbo's commitment to supporting his best friend through everything. :)
> 
> at the beginning of each chapter i'll select a suitable song that you can listen to, hopefully to help the mood and atmosphere because my writing may lack it at points.

Tommy slips on the red-trimmed headset as he leans back into his chair; another evening to be spent doing something he loves, with the person he cares the most about.

He launches Minecraft through the launcher application and opens up Discord in the background, awaiting Tubbo to join his call so they can get started on the server. So far they have made considerable progress on the world, having garnered a number of diamonds through the many hours they spent mining the night before, and were now preparing to explore the Nether dimension for the first time. Tommy connects to the server even though Tubbo hasn't arrived yet, and he gets to work harvesting the crops on the farm and breeding the animals in nearby fenced pens.

Then, the all-too familiar sound emits from Discord, quickly followed by the voice of Tubbo: "Hi! Sorry for the wait, had some stuff to do."

"No worries man," Tommy replies, taking a sip from the can of Coke on his desk. "What's the plan for today?"

"Well actually, I wanted to talk to you about doing something else." Tubbo joins the server and runs up towards Tommy's avatar. "You know the internet friends that I've told you about a couple of times?"

"Yeah?"

In truth, Tommy can hardly remember these friends that he claims to have talked to him about. Perhaps it was a conversation subject swept away amongst the many other things they'd talked about over the last week of knowing each other, but Tommy struggles to recall any specific discussion of Tubbo's online friends - all he knows is that they exist.

"Well, they've been playing on this Minecraft server together for a while and the owner asked me if I wanted to join," Tubbo explains. He holds his breath for a few moments. "I was hesitant at first, and asked him if you could join too because it wouldn't feel right playing Minecraft so much without you. And I knew how serious my friends were about this server, because they pour hours into it daily and don't shut up about it."

Tommy takes this all in. "...So what did your friend say?"

"He said you can join as well," Tubbo says. "He'd like to talk to you over Discord first though, because everyone on his server gets added to this Discord server where we can all talk and make plans and stuff."

"I..." Tommy pauses. Even though talking to new people over the internet is far easier than in the real world, Tommy is still apprehensive about the whole ordeal. Knowing that these people have been friends of Tubbo for considerably longer than him... Tommy could feel his stomach tighten.

"It's okay if you need some time to think about it," Tubbo chirps in immediately. "You can join the Discord server anyway and let the others introduce themselves to you, and I'll tell them to be especially nice and welcoming."

Tommy opens his mouth to speak, but quickly realises that no words are coming out. He sighs in defeat.

Tubbo picks up on this. "And don't forget, I'll still be here. If you let me know when you're going on the Minecraft server then I'll be sure to go on too so you're not alone. But I'm pretty sure you'll get along with the others perfectly fine."

"I'll do it," Tommy finally confirms. "Send me the Discord invite link and I'll speak to the owner."

"Perfect." The alert of a new message pings through Tommy's headset, and he tabs out of Minecraft to full-screen Discord and click the link. He joins the server named Dream SMP, and is hit with welcoming messages from a handful of people within seconds.

_Nihachu: hello!! :)_

_Eret: Hey dude, welcome!_

_Quackity: Hey!_

_Sapnap: Yoooo_

Tommy smiles. He hasn't had such a welcome in years, maybe not even in his entire lifetime.

**TommyInnit: Hi everyone, I'm Tubbo's friend :)**

_Tubbo: He sure is! Hopefully he'll be joining the server :D_

_Nihachu: yes!!! i love meeting new members c:_

_Fundy: Hey Tommy! Hope this isn't too overwhelming haha_

**TommyInnit: Haha don't worry, just a little nervous but I'll be fine**

Tommy hears Tubbo laughing. "See Tommy, they love you already! They're a very supportive group of people, I don't know how I got so lucky to find them."

"Who's the owner again?" Tommy asks. He hurriedly checks the list of members in the Discord server.

"Dream," Tubbo replies. "But he's very very kind and considerate, especially to new people. Niki joined last week and he made her feel really included and supported from the get-go."

Tommy chuckles. "Dream is one hell of a name. I ought to fear him purely for that alone."

Tommy's eyes flicker over the new messages appearing in the general channel, most of them being an influx of welcome messages from other members. But then, a message from someone flashes past that makes Tommy feel sick to the stomach.

_Dream: Welcome Tommy! Shoot me a DM real quick :)_

"Don't worry man, you'll do fine," Tubbo says reassuringly. "He isn't gonna be mean to you, he's the one who let you join for Christ's sake."

"Thank you Tubbo." Tommy bravely opens a new private message conversation with Dream, and anxiously types in a short message just to say hello. It doesn't take long before he receives a response.

_Dream: Hey! I'm sure he's told you, but Tubbo was practically begging that you join the Dream SMP with him because you've grown particularly close recently. If I'm being honest with you, he hasn't stopped talking about you over the last week and saying all the nice things you've done for him, and you sound like an incredible friend. We've known Tubbo for a few months and it's very rare that he talks about somebody like this so much, so I want to thank you first of all for being good to him_

_Dream: Secondly, this server is typically reserved for those I'm closest with online and people I've known for years, like George and Sapnap who I've known since my adolescence. However I have a lot of trust in you Tommy, since you make Tubbo so happy. And while I have every right to withdraw that trust at any time if it means protecting my friends, I don't believe I'll ever have to do that_

_Dream: I know this is a lot, but I think you'll be a great fit for the server. It's going to feel very overwhelming at first, with everybody introducing themselves to you and trying to form friendships, but just remember that you always have Tubbo if you get overwhelmed. And I'm obviously here to talk to if you ever feel stressed, or if you just wanna chat. We all chat casually in the Discord server and hop about in VCs from time to time, so don't be scared to say something if you wanna talk_

_Dream: Do you have any questions? :)_

Tommy is taken aback by the kindness shown by Dream, somebody who had never even heard of him before Tubbo started mentioning him.

"What did he sayyyy," Tubbo whines playfully.

Tommy grins to himself. "You've been talking about me a lot to them, haven't you?"

Tubbo falls quiet. "Well... kinda. I mean, how was I gonna stop myself? I don't think you realise how much you've changed my life, Mr Innit."

"Changed your life? It's only been a week," Tommy jokes. "But Dream has said that you talked about me... nonstop. Am I that good to you?"

"If Dream says it, then you know it's true," Tubbo replies happily. "Now tell me, what else has he saiddd?"

Tommy smiles in amusement. "Just some stuff about him trusting me and how he's always there if I wanna talk. He's asked me if I have any questions and I don't know what to reply with."

"I mean, do you?"

"Do I what?”

"Have any questions?"

Tommy thinks. "I don't think I do. Except for the fact that I have no idea what SMP even stands for."

"Survival multiplayer," Tubbo states. "Maybe you should ask him what the server is about, so you get a better feel to it. I haven't played on it before but from what I've heard it sounds like a lot of fun."

"Alright." Tommy proceeds to ask that very question, and bites the inside of his cheek when he sees that Dream is typing back.

_Dream: Essentially it's just us goofing about and doing funny bits, and not so much actually beating the game or anything. We actually disabled the End dimension because the purpose of the SMP isn't to beat Minecraft, and elytra would be too overpowered anyways_

_Dream: Everyone comes online at different times, and very few people actually stick to a consistent schedule so it's always a surprise who will be on the server when you log on. You're free to stream whenever you're online, but you can come on just for fun even if you're not live :)_

Tommy pauses. Did Dream just mention streaming? As in, going on Twitch and starting a livestream?

**TommyInnit: Sorry, but you've lost me a bit at the whole streaming part. Is this server for streamers?**

"Tubbo?"

"Yeah?"

"You didn't say that there are streamers on this server?"

Tubbo goes silent. "...Oops?"

"What do you mean, oops?!" Tommy explodes, trying his best to contain his emotions. "You haven't said a thing about livestreaming on this server, I was under the impression that it was just a server for online friends! Since when is there streaming involved?!"

"Tommy please calm down," Tubbo says quietly. "I didn't want you to freak out. I really don't mean to worry you, but Dream... is rather popular. So are George and Sapnap. And everyone here streams... I just didn't want to put masses of pressure on you. I know I should have warned you beforehand and I'm sorry."

Tommy takes a deep breath. "It's okay, Tubbo. I'm not mad at you. It's just a lot to take in I suppose, considering that I haven't really spoken to these people before."

Then, a new message from Dream appears.

_Dream: I'm assuming that Tubbo didn't tell you?_

**TommyInnit: Nope he didn't, we're in a call right now and he says he didn't want to put pressure on me. Sorry, I genuinely didn't know that you were all streamers**

_Dream: No worries dude, it's really no problem. Obviously you don't have to be streaming to join the server, it's just that you'll be featured in other people's streams and the fanbase will know you exist. Is that okay?_

**TommyInnit: Yeah that's fine, but just be honest with me here... roughly how big is this fanbase?**

_Dream: On Twitch I have about two million followers myself, George has a million, Sapnap has nearly a million. The others are in the hundreds of thousands, some nearing a million. And on our YouTube channels our subscriber count is practically doubled, and in my case I've got over ten million_

**TommyInnit: Ten million? God I'm struggling to process that**

_Dream: Tommy, it's perfectly okay if you don't want to be in the spotlight. We can ask our followers to give you privacy and you can come online when hardly anyone is streaming. You don't have to have the public attention on you if you're not comfortable with it_

**TommyInnit: No, I promise I'm okay with it all. I just don't know how I feel about being the only one not streaming out of everyone there**

_Dream: Tubbo doesn't stream either! You two can just be on the others' streams and videos, you're still actively involved in the server regardless_

Tommy sits still for a moment, the mountains of thoughts rushing through his brain. He thinks things over for a while, evaluating the pros and cons in his head. Then he starts typing.

**TommyInnit: Dream, how would I go about starting a Twitch channel?**

-

"You are? You really are?" Tubbo exclaims excitedly, his Minecraft avatar hopping about happily on the screen. "This is gonna be so awesome! I'm so excited!"

Tommy grins from ear to ear. It has been a handful of days since Dream agreed to help Tommy set up his very own Twitch channel, and the plan has been set in stone with the rest of the Dream SMP: Tommy's first stream will be of his first day on the SMP, who will be joined by Tubbo also going on the server for the first time. Dream at some point had approached Tubbo and asked whether he needed help setting up a Twitch channel, however Tubbo declined and said he would prefer to just be in other people's content.

Their first day on the SMP, and Tommy's first ever Twitch stream, had been scheduled for the coming Saturday. Tubbo was deliberately made the last to know, as Tommy wanted to witness the raw reaction himself once everything had been confirmed. It was absolutely worth it.

"This is insane!" Tubbo's avatar punches the air repeatedly. "You're gonna be such a great streamer, Tommy. Don't forget me if you get famous!"

Tommy laughs obnoxiously. "I don't think I could forget you, even if I wanted to. You're always gonna be talking about it in school and I won't get a break."

"I'm really excited to play with you as well," Tubbo says. "It'll be so much fun with the others. They're hilarious to talk to online so I assume they're even funnier in Minecraft."

"Have you watched their streams before?"

"Yeah!" Tubbo's tone immediately gets more enthusiastic. "Wilbur is my favourite, both streamer-wise and just as a friend in general. We've started talking more over the last few weeks and he's really sweet, I think you'll be great friends."

"Wilbur?" Tommy tries to gather an image of this character in his mind; but alas, he has nothing to grasp onto. "I don't think I remember him."

"He's a fun guy," Tubbo says. "Sarcastic and irritating as fuck, but generally very funny. You're gonna get along great, trust me."

Tommy glances at the clock: 3:48pm, on an ordinary Thursday afternoon. Maybe he would have time to meet these people before the stream on Saturday, just so he wouldn't feel so nervous when placed in front of a brand new audience on Twitch. Or perhaps it’ll be easier to just meet people on the day, if they want to make content out of it. “Does Wilbur live in the UK?"

"Mhm."

"You reckon he'll be online on the day?"

"Why?" Tubbo questions.

"I was thinking that I could maybe talk to him on my first day, I wanna try and introduce myself to as many people as I can."

Tubbo nods in agreement. "Good idea. Tell you what, I can be in the VC with you during your stream even if I’m muted, or I can talk to him for you if you're too nervous to say anything. It's up to you."

Tommy thinks this through. Meeting new people is going to be inevitable at some stage or another, so perhaps it's best to get it done out of the way as early as possible before having the attention of too many unfamiliar people on him - with irreversible and permanent footage recorded of every move.

"I'll be in the VC with you and him if you're comfortable with that," Tommy suggests. "Then I can familiarise myself with his voice at the very least."

"Sounds good." Tubbo logs out of the server and takes a deep breath. "Tommy, I'd like you to go on Discord and turn on your camera for a minute."

"Why?" Tommy asks, still following his instructions regardless.

"Here, I'll turn mine on too." Tubbo presses a key on his keyboard and his camera turns on, displaying his face on the left half of the screen.

This is the first time Tommy has ever seen the inside of Tubbo's house - in this case, just his bedroom. The walls are painted white with minor patches where the paint peels away, and the ceiling lampshade is non-existent so revealing the bare lightbulb inside. Tubbo's back bedroom wall facing the camera features several posters of different movies and franchises that Tommy cannot identify, with the occasional reminiscence of past wall decorations given by the rogue blu-tack stuck in some bare spots.

Tubbo dawns a plain light-blue hoodie and black denim jeans, his school uniform visibly discarded in the background. His hair is untidy to match the mess in his bedroom, with even one of the posters sticking to the wall by a single corner.

Tommy feels obligated to turn on his own camera. While his room may be neater, he was in equally as messy of a state; uniform crumpled and creased against his skin, hair unkempt and uncombed.

"Hey Tommy." Tubbo quickly ruffles his hair with his hand and smiles at the camera. "This is strange. I'm not used to talking to you on Discord and seeing you at the same time."

"Yeah I gotta admit, it does feel a little weird," Tommy replies with a laugh. "I know I haven't gotten changed out of my uniform yet, I just get very lazy in the evenings."

"I only threw this on because I knew I'd be asking you to turn on your camera," Tubbo admits. "Usually I'd be doing the same thing as you."

Conversation falls silent. Tubbo clears his throat.

"Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that... everything's gonna be okay, you hear me? It all sounds super hectic at the moment, what with you starting a Twitch channel and joining the SMP, but you're going to be okay." He pushes his keyboard away and props his elbows on the cleared desk space, hands cupping his chin.

"I feel... fine." Tommy runs a nervous hand through his hair and tugs at the roots. "It's just a lot to take in, really, and I've said that before. But it's undoubtedly going to be that way, isn't it? Anybody would be stressed out over a situation like this regardless of how confident or outgoing they are."

"And you're doing an amazing job so far Tommy," Tubbo adds. "You've acted so professional and mature when it was necessary, yet so funny and laid back at the right moments."

He reaches towards his blue plastic water bottle and takes a sip from the straw-lid. "I've actually been talking to Dream a little bit, and he says he's very impressed with how you've acted and presented yourself. He can't wait to start playing with you on the server, and the same goes for many of the others that I've spoken to."

Tommy pauses. "Really? They think I'm alright?"

"More than alright," Tubbo grins. "Believe me, you're gonna be really good friends once you get to know them. I'd say you'll be closest with Fundy, Quackity and Wilbur in particular but honestly you could strike a friendship with anyone."

"Thank you." Tommy brings his hand along his jawline in thought, looking off to the side out of his bedroom window.

Tubbo smiles happily at the camera. "You'll do amazing out there. The fanbase are gonna love you. I don't think you realise just how naturally funny you are, and I can see you growing big online even outside of Twitch. If things go well then your life definitely won't be the same again, but it'll be for the better."

Then he leans in closer. "And remember, I'll be by your side no matter what. Okay?"

The widest, proudest smile appears on Tommy's face. "Okay Tubbo."

They laugh and continue talking on call for the following handful of hours, both keeping their cameras on but tabbed out of Discord playing Minecraft. At some point they grow tired of the game after spending so long mining and gathering resources, so Tubbo comes up with an innovative idea.

"Let's take a deeper look into the fanbase," Tubbo suggests. "I know that they make a lot of fanart and edits over on Twitter, but it's a slippery slope so we gotta be cautious."

Tommy chuckles in amusement. "Yeah alright, sounds like fun."

Tubbo decides to share his screen over Discord so only one of them has to go looking through things, and they start off with searching Dream SMP into the search-bar.

"Looks like there's a few fan theories and funny moments to begin with," Tubbo narrates, hovering his cursor over various tweets as he scrolls past them. "And now we've found our first edit. Shall we give it a watch?"

The edit starts to play. Tommy can't identify the song playing in the background but the tune is certainly catchy. The beats of the music match perfectly in sync with the transitions of the images, which are a mixture of real-life photos and in-game screenshots of Dream SMP members.

"Fundy, Eret, Wilbur, Niki, Quackity..." Tubbo quietly mutters to himself as the images flash past. "They've sure got a lot of people in this."

Then the final few people in the edit appear: Sapnap, George, then Dream left until last. The images used for him are entirely in-game screenshots, which stands out to Tommy as everybody else has real-life photos used too.

"Does Dream not show his face?" Tommy asks curiously. Tubbo makes a 'hmm' sound in confirmation.

"He doesn't really talk about it much, but he's told us that it helps ease the pressure off his shoulders that many content creators get for their appearance," Tubbo explains. "He doesn't feel like he is obligated to look a certain way or wear certain things, because ultimately nobody is there to judge. He isn't insecure or anything... it's just more of a personal preference that he's adapted into the character that is Dream."

Tommy fixates on the fan-art and screenshots of Dream's avatar used in the edit. The simplistic white mask with the basic smiley face has been made into a huge part of his online persona, which Tommy finds particularly interesting. "Have you ever seen his face before, Tubbo?"

Tubbo shakes his head in response, his camera still visible on the side in the Discord call. "Just because I don't talk to him much one-on-one. Only a few people in the SMP have seen it - from memory I can name George, Sapnap, BBH and Karl for definite."

"That's cool."

Tubbo clicks off the edit and continues scrolling after giving the tweet a well-deserved 'like'. He stumbles upon various pieces of fan-art, more edits and general quotes taken from streams and videos, some making Tommy and Tubbo double over in laughter.

"These artists are super talented," Tommy remarks after viewing some detail-orientated art depicting Dream, George and Sapnap sitting on a hilltop watching the sunset. Each brush stroke is carefully placed, the shades beautifully blending into one another while creating highlight and shadow in the perfect places.

"I'm not any good at Art in school," Tubbo laughs. "All of my drawings become nonsensical messes. And don't even get me started on shading and stuff, because I absolutely suck ass at it."

Tommy wheezes in laughter. "Yeah, I've been witness to some of your artwork and it's not exactly comparable to Vincent Van Gogh. I'd say I'm decent at drawing, but nowhere near as good as these artists I'm seeing here. The way they portray Minecraft avatars in an artistic form is beautiful."

"Maybe we'll start getting fan-art someday?" Tubbo says optimistically.

Tommy shakes his head smiling. "Maybe, Tubbo. We'll see."

Tubbo continues to scroll through the endless swarm of tweets. "To think that they don't even know we exist yet, and that we'll shortly be joining the SMP. They're gonna lose their minds."

He clicks back to his home page on Twitter, and quickly notices a new tweet from Dream posted 30 seconds ago. It features a screenshot of Tommy and Tubbo's first messages from when they joined the Discord server that day, with their names and profile pictures scribbled out, along with the caption: "New SMP members this Saturday :)"

The tweet has instantly gained an ecstatic response; the replies full of fans freaking out excitedly over the news. Tommy and Tubbo laugh at each of the responses they read, while Tubbo frequently likes some of them himself.

"They're gonna know it's you!" Tommy says pointedly, to which Tubbo grins cunningly.

"But we barely have 50 followers combined on Twitter," Tubbo retorts. "I just look like some regular account. They won't notice a thing."

Tommy smiles, reading the excited tweets from people already beginning to theorise about who is joining. "They won't see it coming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this little chapter, apologies that not much actually happened but i knew i wanted to make them join the dream smp at some point. making tommy a streamer won't be a huge detail to the story but it'll make for some great dialogue and character development, and the same goes for the smp. there won't be a whole deal of plot focused on most smp members, however a few will be a key part to the story!!
> 
> i've had a bit of writer's block recently with writing the chapter after this (chapter six), but last night i finally got it finished and i'm hoping to write more over the coming weeks. i'm trying to keep uploads consistent to at least once a week but there may be good weeks where i upload more :D


End file.
